The Inner Child- The Path to happiness

A Powerful Journey of Healing Through the Inner Child — Reconnecting with your Authentic Self to Experience Love, Freedom, and Deep Personal Transformation.

From the very start of my therapeutic journey, both as a client and later as a practitioner, one truth became undeniable: our emotional wellbeing, our mental and physical health, our joy in life, our self-worth, self-confidence, and self-belief, our sense of belonging, and, most importantly, our capacity to love, to love ourselves, to love another, and to let love in, all rest in the hands of our Inner Child and our relationship with them.

Our Inner Child, with her history and life experiences, with her thoughts and emotions, with her beliefs and fears, exists within us, within our consciousness, in our mind and in our body. She is always there, watching and listening, feeling and thinking, and reacting. 

She lives now, as she lived then. She has much to say. She is waiting to be seen and heard- by you. She is waiting for you to rescue her and ‘change her mind’.  It is all up to you. She needs you to grieve and heal, and to recover what she has lost of herself. She needs to find herself again, and she needs you to help her do that. She needs you to love her unconditionally. 

This is your journey.

The Journey back to the Authentic Self

It is the only way. We cannot grow deeply mentally, physically, or spiritually without her. She is the path to our true happiness. Our journey must be with her. It is, fundamentally a journey back to ourselves: to our authentic self — to the person we were always meant to be, before our world shaped us, taking us further and further aways from who we truly are. 

As we move closer to our authentic self, the less we need the approval of others to feel whole. We come to know ourselves, understand ourselves, appreciate our quirks, and make mistakes without harsh judgment. We begin to treat ourselves differently, with kindness, understanding and compassion. 

As we begin to authentically like ourselves, the relationship becomes one of love- unconditional love.  It is then that we begin to let go — let go of the shame, the self-doubt and the fear. In fact we begin to let go of everything and everyone that no longer serves us. This is the process of Becoming Whole and Letting Go.

The journey begins with finding and building a relationship with our Inner Child. It is the path to loving her as if she were our own precious daughter. We are the best person to know what she needs, and it is our responsibility to give it to her. When she hears and believes us, when she knows we are there for her and she is loved, we both begin to heal.  

Why Reconnection Can Be Difficult

Sometimes we find it difficult to reconnect with our Inner Child. We may not remember ourselves. It might feel too painful or overwhelming. The defensive walls that we have built around us to protect our wounded heart now keep her shut out and as it builds, we keep her shut out.  We become unaware of her attempts to reach us. But she is there in our mind and body when we feel anxiety, fear, grief and vulnerability. She is the one driving us, driving us to behave in ways contrary to what our real self longs for. 

The wounds of our childhood, how we were raised, how we were treated by our parents, siblings, relatives, those with power, live in her, and we take them with us everywhere we go. Over time, our worth becomes dependent on the approval of others. As we ‘adapt’ we lose our sense of self and ‘ego’ takes over. Life becomes a cycle of worrying about the past, fearing the future and missing the present. 

We become fragmented. Our beautiful Soul is lost to the unconscious and we seek validation outside of ourselves, chasing love and approval, material objects, performance, image, success. The ‘Perfectionist Child’ is created and we never find peace.

We numb ourselves through scrolling on our phones, retail therapy, excessive exercise, new relationships, cars, drugs, alcohol, porn, always seeking the next ‘hit’ whilst our true self slips further into the shadows.

Moments of Real Love

Sometimes we get glimpses- when our heart opens to something wonderful that moves us- love of nature, moving pieces of music, beauty, our children. These moments offer a doorway to what is truly possible. But often, we cannot remain there. We live in our heads and disconnected from our hearts because staying open to love brings grief, as we have to face our self, and what we have lost.

It is only through a loving relationship with our Inner Child — bringing them into our heart and soul — that we can truly move forward toward our authentic self.

Without this relationship, we are lost. We are stuck. We are unfulfilled. We feel empty and disconnected, wearing a false persona- a mask shaped by fear and defence to hide our self. We are driven by survival-based identities: the Pleaser Child, the Caretaker Child, the Rescuer Child, the Perfectionist Child, and others, all working to meet the Child's unmet needs, all working to be loved.

When we are dismissive of her needs, judgmental of her vulnerability, or ashamed of her pain — she knows. When we refuse to hear her voice, see her in our imagination, or feel her in our heart and body — she knows. And she will try harder to get our attention. Because pain doesn’t go away. It simply follows us, everywhere we go, shaping our relationships, our health, and our lives.

Unresolved wounds stay in the body. We become anxious, depressed, or physically unwell. We are trapped in our comfort zone — a personal purgatory dictated by ego, reinforced by our fears. 

But when our Inner Child becomes a part of us again, deep healing begins. This is the beginning of the 'Hero’s Journey', and life transforms in unimaginable ways.

My Story: The Turning Point

I know this to be true. I lived it. I found the courage, many years ago, to go to my Inner Child, with the guidance of a deeply spiritual friend. She wasn’t a therapist; she was a Guide. I believe she was sent to me for this to happen. 

We used visualisation- the imagination-to see. We worked intuitively with what our minds gave us. And we helped each-other find and rescue our Inner Children. I found mine in the darkest, dampest shed at the bottom of the garden of my childhood home. She found hers by rebuilding her child from her disfigured foot, an injury from saving her brother from being hit by a car. It was the only way because she had ‘killed’ her Child- remembering her was too overwhelming. 

But we took turns and found them, gently, lovingly and compassionately.

 I went into the shed. I knew ‘he’ was in there — the man who had betrayed me, terrified and harmed me when I was little. And I knew she was in there too. I thought she was beyond repair, I knew her heart was broken and she trusted no-one. I needed to find her anyway, because I realised I loved her and needed her to come with me. I found her, a beautiful, brave little girl, hiding in the corner, and I rescued her. 

And something wonderful happened. 

Light began to pour through the windows. The damp, dark, frightening shed was transformed — filled with warmth and sunlight. The walls came down and it was gone. He was gone. I took her into my arms and into my heart and she came back with me, in my body and soul; reintegration.

And I was different. It was over. I was free.

The Healing Continues

In the days that followed, the grief came — for all that had been buried and so many beliefs I had about myself and people close to me just fell away. I knew something profound had shifted. I felt stronger. I felt like an adult. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to go home. I was safe. I was Me.

My Hero’s Journey has lead me back home, to my family and to myself- and to the ‘Warrior Woman’ I am today. You can have this too. 

This path is not linear. It is not easy. But it is the most honest, transformative journey you will ever take — to go within, to find, reconnect and reconcile with your Inner Child, and to remember the truth of who we are. We are not broken. We are searching and waiting to be reunited with our self. And in that reunion… life-changing happiness begins.

I repeat the Warrior Woman...

The Warrior Woman

The Warrior Woman is incredibly powerful.

Her Hero’s Journey has been one of many battles.

Though She seeks peace and fights no one.

Her voice is strong and she speaks her truth.

She is guided intuitively from her Divine Gift of Knowing.

And she stands her ground, confidently and proudly.

She believes in her self and inspires self-belief in others.

She is her own person and will give her self away for no one.

Yet for those she loves she gives with all her heart.

But do not take advantage of her kindness, gentleness and compassion.

Do not see her tears and open heart as weakness.

Do not interpret her silence as submission.

That will be your greatest error.

Sharon McKenna-Daniels Women Who Thrive